I write music all the time. It is mostly instrumental music as i am a poor wordsmith and i couldnt have a voice with less character in it. As i struggle to piece together a fresh creation on my modest 8-track apparatus i am often cursing at myself. All the terrible, bland and unavoidable music i have heard on television, on the radio, out of people’s cars and at work has distorted my capacity to write anything but boring, cliched 3 chord pieces of shit – or worse still – another 12 bar blues variation. The songs are crowding my creative thinking processes. They tear out the soul of anything i put down to tape. I end up pushing for clinical perfection as opposed to emotional regurgitation. And i end up with a bland but precise 3 minute version of something that could have fallen off any of AC/DC’s twenty or so identical albums. Music is dead. I personally think, along with many others, that Music Television (MTV, Video Hits, V Channel etc) has destroyed the essence of music. If you disagree with me then go and fuck yourself. Wake up and smell the wafer thin slices of cynicism because i know i’m right on this one.
- 1. MUSIC IS MODELLING
Music is not Ashley Simpson wriggling around suggestivly covered in whipped cream beside a Mcmansion and a swimming pool. It is modelling set to a soundscape which is one of Warner Music’s In-house producers’ latest variation on track 10 from the last “Britney” album. Music is audio-sensory and should remain that way. Would Ashley’s music sell if she looked like a donut munching, out-of-work alcoholic former wrestler. Of course not. I wonder if the people who buy into this realise what a ride they are being taken on. I classify them as entertainment fans, but they are not MUSIC fans as they rely on the visual association to buy the music.
- 2. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ENTERTAINERS AND ARTISTS
An artist is somebody who creates or cultivates. Entertainment by defenition is an activity designed to provide pleasure or relaxation to a crowd. Of course, there is nothing wrong with being an entertainer in the musical sense but you cannot automaticaly define an entertainer as an artist! The music industry has been doing this for years and years and it is right up there with the worst real-estate sales speak. What they are doing is defining any pretty boy who gets a song written and recorded for him that he just has to sing over an artist. They are defining cover bands as artists. They are defining David Hasslehoff as an ARTIST! It is enough to ruin my day when Richard Wilkins pops up on the morning show to announce that 50 Cent has now broken a new sales record making him the most successful ever ‘recording artist’ in Guatemala.
- 3. MAJOR LABEL CONTRACTS
First of all, it is incredibly sad that four global corporations control the promotion and distrubution of over ninety per cent of music released today. I cant believe how many fucking brain dead people will criticise music by saying “I havent even heard of it”! or “It’s not even in the Top40″ or a complete classic i heard once: “I’m strictly a Top40 gal”. I felt like tearing her face off and feeding it to sewer rats. These four horsemen of the apocalypse (Warner Music, Sony BMG, Universal, EMI) are each run by a mixed band of former lawyers and investment bankers. The worst such case is with EMI, whom is now owned by Terra Firma Capital Partners, a private equity firm. In brief, due to lack of time and personal distress, a standard major record label contract specifies several things that contribute to the blandness of the situation today. Firstly, a new artist MUST use written material from the companies’ affliate publisher/s or contracted songwriters. Secondly, a new artist MUST use an in-house producer or affiliate producer. Thirdly, 99.9% of new contracts are ONE ALBUM DEALS. These ventures are cut down to their absolute minimum risk. I could go on forever on contracts and will do on a future post when i have more bile stored up.
- THE TECHNICAL STUFF
Amongst the most important things in these ventures is of course to ensure brief and economical recording time. How to achieve this? Well, first of all, consider a cover. It saves a lot of writing time and costs. But make sure it’s a classic hit from your own publishing house. I can imagine the boardroom meeting at SonyBMG – “Why send all those royalties over to Warner Publishing when you can double your money instantly with your own stock from the past 50 years?! Another great idea – electronic music! Everything can be sequenced and looped, saving valuable studio time and cost. In addition, we only need a synthesiser! Great! We can save money and time without hiring all those troublesome session musicians! Remember when we hired them last year? The bloody guitarist spent two hours of our time trying to perfect that bloody guitar solo. That was $250 of our studio money down the drain! What’s more, that producer we got there can play a bit of keyboard. Heck! We wont even need to hire a keyboard player! And that new Autotune thingy he has on his laptop means we only need Ms. Hilton to come in and kinda sing one or two takes and go home! Think of all the time and money that will save! Christmas bonus will be big this year folks……..”. Thats the gist of how it works. Music produced in this way can be almost anything – HipHop, Trance, Funk, Reggae, even Rock to an extent. It’s why everything sounds the same. It’s why recordings are now so tight-arse precise and have all the soul of a freshly installed urinal. It’s why major labels record so many covers. It’s why major labels sample and loop so many covers. It’s CHEAP TO MAKE and they can double dip with new publishing royalties from old covers. Can you see why i’m so pissed off?? I hope you are pissed off because you should be. People put a lot of emotional stock in their music and it cheapens everything significantly when you know the truth. This stuff only scratches the surface folks………… What to do about this? Simple – be cynical about the industry. All aspects of it. It all becomes so so so transparent and pathetic when you step back and take a good look. But dont be sad, there is good music to found out there. I hope to contribute in my own tiny way with my little independant 4 minute instrumentals
